We went back to the fabulous plant shop in Sofia last week. I mean, we were supposed to be in Sofia looking at ovens. (Our electric oven hasn’t worked for years and every time spring rolls around, when we no longer want to put the woodburner on just to cook something, we say ‘This year we really must buy a new oven’. Then we never quite get around to it. But this year, this year, we’re determined. It would be nice to have an electric oven that’s used for more than just storage.)

We went in one oven shop on the outskirts of Sofia, I did a little scared wee at the prices – because I want a big range cooker – and then we left, quickly.

So we went and splurged on plants instead. We bought some mature blackcurrant bushes (big enough to produce fruit this year, we hope), a new apple tree, some bay trees, and a couple of grapevines (to grow up the front of the rustic greenhouse – still in progress).

And we went to HomeMax, the European equivalent of B&Q, where I had to be physically restrained from buying a cute little retro-style rattan garden furniture set with a loveseat, two chairs and a glass coffee table – even though a) we don’t need more garden furniture, b) there’s no way it would have fitted in the (plant-packed) car and c) we need to Buy. An. Oven. Not a patio set. Especially not a patio set that looks like it was stolen from the set of The Golden Girls.

I’m still thinking about it, though, that cute little garden set. I think about it way more than buying an oven. Next time you hear from me, I’ll have probably gone back for it.

Just look at how cute it is. Look at how … Golden Girls it is. Can’t you just see me sat here, living my best Blanche Devereaux life? I can. I’m wearing my actual 80s tropical jumpsuit and a pair of slingbacks. I’m holding a cocktail in one hand and fingering my dangly earrings with the other. I’m definitely saying something rude.

Who cares that I’m really more of a Dorothy in real life? I can be more Blanche. If only I had the right garden furniture…