79. Time flies when you have a fungal infection

by | Feb 4, 2015 | Bulgarian life, Travel & trips | 2 comments

As it’s been so long since I last wrote, I shall attempt to summarise the last six months in 200 words. Ready?

August 2014: Catastrophic rain and floods in Bulgaria. We go to the beach for five days. It rains. I get the shits. It rains some more. We come home.

September 2014: A tiny, disgusting kitten appears in our garden. He’s so vile we’re not sure if he’s a kitten or a mutant rat. We take him in. In return, he gives us all ringworm.


This dude.


October 2014: We still have ringworm. It’s immune to all medicine ever invented. Our lives revolve around covering ourselves in borax, vinegar and garlic. We go to beautiful Veliko Tarnovo for a few days. The ringworm tags along.

November 2014: We have beaten the ringworm but the emotional scars remain. Also, turns out garlic burns like a bitch so I have proper scars too. Thanks ringworm, you total arsehole.

December 2014: We go to England. I spend the entire time converting the cost of everything into Bulgarian Lev and screeching, ‘That’s 25 Lev! 25 Lev! That’s a whole meal for two in Bulgaria!’ I am charming company, everyone agrees.

January 2015: I work almost constantly. I buy a very cool teapot. That’s about as good as January gets.

There. Wasn’t that cheery?

I like the cut of 2015’s jib though. So far, winter has been kind to us. I’ve just had my busiest two months of work since going freelance last summer. I’ve got lots of cool projects lined up for 2015 (work and otherwise). One of my BFFs comes to stay next month and the other BFF, who hasn’t been out in three years, is coming in the summer. And my parents are driving out this summer, which is obviously an insane thing to do but at least I’ll finally get that Le Creuset pan that was too heavy to pack or post.

I have decided 2015 is going to be the year of yoga and vodka. Having never suffered with hangovers in all my smug little life, I’ve started getting dreadful hangovers from wine. It must be my age. I embarked on a search to find the right drink for my advancing years. Gin was excellent for a while but did make me feel a bit leaden if I drank it after 6pm – rendering it mostly useless, except on a cheeky Saturday afternoon. The locals swear by rakia but I think it tastes like weedkiller (but not as nice). And, personally, I think beer is only right in the summer after a bike ride or when I’ve been digging in the dirt. Turns out vodka is the answer. It is excellent, readily available (even in the village shops) and kind to me in the mornings. Oh and yoga. Yeah, yoga is good too. Flexibility…woo yeah. (Mainly, though, vodka.)

This is also the year of Mad Men. We’ve never watched a single episode of Mad Men and have been waiting until the final series airs so we can binge-watch the whole lot in a short space of time. I can’t stress enough what an act of restraint this has been. I’m looking forward to finally wanging on about how great it is…five years after everyone else. Mainly, I am looking forward to some very classy Mad Men dreams. Whatever series we’re watching always ends up invading my dreams – which is fine when it’s something like The West Wing, but not so great when it comes to The Walking Dead and I spend my nights being chased by zombies.

We’re also going to get fabulous at speaking Bulgarian this year. Or at least significantly better. Or maybe just a bit better. Look, we’ll try and learn a few new words here and there, okay? Jeez, no need to nag.

2015 is also the year that I finally finish a knitting project. Having said that, I’m about 10 inches into a jumper and flagging already, so this isn’t looking good.

Sigh. This is why I never make New Year’s resolutions. Still, I am definitely going to update the blog more often. I’m aiming for weekly. Fortnightly at the very least. Alright, let’s agree monthly as a firm target. 12 blogs this year. Or maybe 10, that’s a nice round number.

See you at Christmas then, right?


  1. Anonymous

    I have just found your blog – I'm not usually sycophantic but I have sat and smiled as your writings sated my need for information on Bulgaria and wittily written prose. We are sat waiting for our UK house to sell before we can move to our Bulgarian shell of a home in the middle of a village ;0 It's a pleasure reading your journey

  2. Auntie Bulgaria

    Thank you and good luck on your own Bulgarian adventure. It'll be worth the wait, I'm sure.


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