Blog
96. Imagining elaborate deaths for arseholes on public transport
I have a set routine whenever I travel from England to Bulgaria. I am (most of time) too tight to cough up for a taxi to the airport, and I am (always) too tight to pay for a hotel room. So, for a 6am Easyjet flight, I have to get a late train up to Gatwick...
95. Out of touch
This cat pic couldn't be a better metaphor for my life. What is this Invictus Games that everyone keeps going on about? What did Jay Z do to Beyoncé? What’s going on in Brazil this summer, the Olympics or the World Cup? I have no clue anymore. I am...
94. Yes, you should come on holiday to Bulgaria (no, not to Sunny Beach)
‘Oh, you live in Bulgaria?’ says a random stranger. You can guarantee the next thing they say is, ‘Anywhere near Sunny Beach?’ ‘Er, no.’ I’m allowed to slag off Sunny Beach because, unlike most Sun journalists, I’ve actually been there. When we were thinking of...
93. Blog challenge
Day 11 of no alcohol. To help ease the boredom (I am joking … a bit), I’ve decided to set myself a blog challenge. From Monday 16th, I’m going to blog every day for a week. *Movie trailer voice* In a world without wine, one woman decided to write some words. I...
92. Stuff that’s been happening lately
I have been driven mad by rain. Too mad to pull stuff together into a cohesive post. Instead, I give you the imaginatively titled, ‘Stuff that’s been happening lately’. If you need me, I’ll be under my duvet. Isn’t the weather just awful? I shouldn’t have...
91. Switching on spring
I don’t want to be one of those awful English people who move abroad and complain about the heat, but (she says, limbering up to complain about the heat) … it’s 30°C here today. Thirty degrees! In Bulgaria, spring often starts like the flicking of a switch and it’s...
90. Oh, ye compost bins of glory
Bow before the most majestic compost bins in all Bulgaria. Bow, I said. Why aren’t you bowing? Oh, fuck it, here they are: Compost bins of glory. Look, I know compost bins aren’t all that exciting, and I understand I may be pushing the envelope in...
89. We used to have a bedroom…
...but now we have this. Taking multi-functional living to new extremes Which is, in its way, pleasing to look at. But it's less pleasing when I get up for the loo in the middle of the night and have to inch my way along the bottom of the bed,...
88. February squared
I’ve been trying hard to blog more frequently in 2016. Like many resolutions, I did really well in January then fell off a cliff in February. Not updating the blog for five weeks is the writerly equivalent of sacking off the gym and eating a whole bag of doughnuts...
87. Return of the gardening bore
Winter is easier to bear when you have a garden. Gardening is optimistic, it’s looking ahead to spring and summer. It’s organising. For me, gardening involves planning the veg garden and buying seeds in early winter. That, in turn, involves writing lists and...
86. Goodbye, builders
Ding dong, the builders have gone! They finished rendering and painting the house last week, just in time for the January snow. Yes, the house looks grand (and feels much warmer thanks to the insulation), but the best thing is being able to slump around in my...
85. Five winters in
Usually around this time of year I start reading one of Rob’s old books on Buddhism in a futile attempt to become more zen and live in the moment. This year I’m screwing that off in favour of looking backwards. Not in a gloomy way, you understand, but a reflective...